Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
