At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
