So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
