They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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