i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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