exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
