my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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