we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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