So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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