should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
