at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
