Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
