stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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