I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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