I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
