I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
