my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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