I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
40s are totally the cure
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
