The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
