I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
