Only a mothe r could love this liver
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
