yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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