So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
