Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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