Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
