I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
