I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize