We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
