check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
