if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
