He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
