this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
