Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
