did you get engaged???
Ambien. No doubt about it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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