Please, let me fuck your mom
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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