worst night to have a conscience
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What drink are we having for lunch?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I would ride that face into the sunset
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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