i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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