She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
