I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
