oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
