jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
