I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
