I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
