idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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