oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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