We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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