That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
