I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
