she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
now i know why i became what i already was.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
