i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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