You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
