I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
