you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
