I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize