I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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