You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
