I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize