They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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