Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize