I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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