I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
