32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
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Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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