Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
